Surprise Post!

I am so happy to share with  you a surprise post! 

Cheryl from Treasures From a Shoe Box has offered her thoughts on modesty for the Modest Mentors Series, and I am so honored! Cheryl has been a faithful reader,(and friend) for a few years and I'm delighted she is here to share in her wisdom!

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

I believe modesty begins in the heart and involves much more than simply how I dress, but encompasses how I present myself through my behavior, the words I speak and my attitude, as well. Modesty means not being forward or showing off. It means to be pure in thought and in conduct. It is possible to be completely covered and still behave immodestly.   

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (if not describe briefly what changed.)

I have not always dressed modestly. I was never much into name-brands or dressing fashionably, but I did wear tight jeans, shorts and inappropriate tops at times. I did not possess any sense of discretion, which landed me into some embarrassing situations. When I was thirty-two years old, during the darkest moment of my life I fully surrendered to Jesus Christ. The first Sunday I attended church, I borrowed a dress from my neighbor, because I didn't own one and felt that I should wear a dress. I soon began to reject everything that represented who I had been before coming to Christ; drugs and alcohol, foul language, cigarette smoking, rock and country music, and finally in the area of my dress.  Conviction was slow, but steady until eventually my husband and I both prayerfully decided that it would be best if I traded in my shorts and jeans for dresses and skirts. Dressing in this new way caused me to feel feminine and it truly impacted my behavior. I didn't know much about being "lady-like", but I had a sudden desire to learn.

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!"

I believe Jesus is very concerned with my heart, but what is in my heart will be demonstrated in the words I speak, my behavior and how I dress. As a child of God, I do not want to dress in a manner that would cause another person to have wrong thoughts. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, "Whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Emphasis mine). WITH HER, not against her; giving the connotation that she bears some of the responsibility and has done something to cause him to lust.  In 1 Timothy 2:9, we are told that women are to "adorn themselves  with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly." I want to dress to please my Savior.

What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

Purity and virtue are counter-cultural in our hedonistic society. High-profile role models dress provocatively and behave indecently on one end of the spectrum, while at the other end, there are precious few Titus 2 women who are willing to mentor the younger ladies who are raising the next generation of girls. It has become a downward spiral.   

 

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

My Pastor's wife was my first Christian woman mentor. There are a few precious older women in our small congregation, whom I consider "treasures" and several other women in our church who are great examples of the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. We feel very blessed that the Lord put us in the midst of so many other Godly families.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

A thought that has stuck with me that greatly impacted my thinking are words I heard soon after coming to Christ: If the world is going one way, followers of Christ should be going in the opposite direction. It seems women who dress modestly are like fish swimming upstream. It helps to remember Who we are dressing to please.

If you want to know what the Lord thinks about your manner of dress, just ask Him! Some helpful verses to aid your study:

1 Timothy 2:9

1 Peter 3:1-4

Matthew 5:28

1 Corinthians 6:19

Cheryl is an unashamed follower of Jesus Christ, wife to Terry for 24 years, mom to ten children (several of which are adults already!), grandma to two precious grandbabies, so far, and an occasional blogger. She blogs to give hope to those who are hurting, to exhort and encourage women in their high calling as wife and mother, and to bring glory to her Savior. You can read more about Cheryl at her blog, Treasures From a Shoebox.

Dont' forget to enter my current giveaway and be sure to visit my sponsors, Victorian Rose Soap Co.,  Joyfully Sewn Designs, Sunny Patch Cottage, and Craving's!

Modest Mentor Series~Melinda

Welcome to Pure Modesty’s, Modest Mentor Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


I am happy to have Melinda from Musing's of a Minister's Wife  finish this wonderful series!

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

Modesty is more than just covered knees and elbows.  True modesty should affect more than just our wardrobe.  Our modesty should be evident in our glance, in our walk, in our attitude, and in our speech—all of which stem from the heart.  As any farmer knows, it doesn’t matter what crop you are planting if the soil is not right.  It really is a matter of “from the ground up.”  You have to dig, you have to add, you have to take away, and you have to water before you can ever grow healthy fruit with a healthy root system that will endure through all phases of life.

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (If not describe briefly what changed.)

I most definitely was NOT a modest dresser.  There was no such thing as too tight, too low-cut, or too short for me.  I looked good, and I knew it.  I envisioned myself as tastefully but scantily clad.  I was the girl that everybody stopped and stared at when she walked in the room.  It was more than just my nice clothes on my nicely aerobicized body—it was the attitude that permeated from me.  I was a girl that got what I wanted, and what I wanted was every man’s attention.  It sounds silly to say all of that now, but it needs to be said to validate the extent of my testimony.

When my husband and I joined a church, no one said anything to me about my style of dress.  Of course, I knew better than to go to church in a leather halter top, but changing clothes doesn’t change the heart.  God started to really convict me about my attitude and my touchy-feely, flirty ways and my wardrobe.  I blush just thinking about the person I once was.  Who was that girl that I used to be?  That’s right—she’s buried in the water in the precious name of Jesus!

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!"

Some of you may have read my Personal Guidelines for Modesty article, so this will sound familiar to you.  But it bears repeating : ) 

• Jesus loved me in my sin, but He doesn’t want me to keep living in it
• If my heart is right, it will show up on the outside at some point
• Guys are going to look, especially if I am putting my goodies on display
• Don’t act like you don’t judge people.  If I see a man dressed like a police officer, I’m going to assume that he’s a policeman.

 What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

The greatest challenge that Christian women face today is that being impure and without virtue is so acceptable in the Christian community.  The pastor’s wife is the example to the women in the church.  If she can’t even get her act together and cover up her own boobs and show a work ethic, why would we expect the women in her congregation to do so?

The greatest challenge that non-Christian women face today is that there are so few Christian women with purity and virtue to set an example for them and to be available to them with a Christ-like attitude for counseling/questions/friendship.

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

The church that we are affiliated with upholds a modesty standard.  (Don’t hate—appreciate : )  How awesome it is to go to a church where all of the women are covered!  (Now that I’m under control, lol.)  So while I did not have one particular woman that really took me under her wings, I am just thankful for all of the women that have followed God’s conviction on their own heart to dress modestly AND FASHIONABLY!  I am not a modest, fashion guru, I’m afraid.  I look nice, but no one is chasing me down asking me where I got those killer pair of shoes.  And I’m okay with that : )  I’m not after anyone’s attention anymore.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

Study God’s word, and ask Him to place the convictions on your heart that He wants for you.  It does not say anywhere in the Bible that you have to wear a skirt.  However, in our culture, skirts are associated with modesty and feminine behavior.  If you view your walk with God as “What all do I have to give up”, chances are you won’t stay the course. 

When I was a pants-wearing Christian, I NEVER had anyone walk up to me and ask me, “Where do you go to church?”  As a modestly dressed, skirt-wearing woman, I have people come up to me all of the time asking where I go to church.  If I can win people to God just because I honor the conviction to dress modestly, then glory, hallelujah!  Everything I do is for His glory, not mine.

Melinda Martin has lived a life full of mistakes and has only survived by God’s amazing grace.  She “retired” from the corporate world four years ago and has since been making more mistakes in the avenues of homeschooling and housewifing.  God has recently blessed her and set her peace-shod feet on a journey to becoming a minister’s wife.   However, the ministry she shares with her husband is a bit different—he is a prison chaplain at a maximum security prison in Texas.  To offset her serious posts, she supplements with fun things like recipes, sewing tutorials, music ministry, and how to siphon gas from your lawnmower.

Modest Mentor Series~Jasmine

Welcome to Pure Modesty’s, Modest Mentors Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


Today's interview is with Jasmine from Far Above Rubies!

What does Modesty mean to you?

It is a woman or man who perceives virtue, humility, discretion, and prudence to be characteristics that are revealed inwardly and outwardly.  

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (if not describe briefly what changed.)

I was not raised with an awareness of the appropriateness of dress and conduct. I also did not know Jesus as my personal savior and my spiritual eyes were blind to the fact that I could make another person stumble by advances unsuitable for a young lady. 

When I accepted Christ as my Savior, God began a work of sanctification in my life which allowed for many changes. Dressing and behaving modestly was a very slow process because my heart was in dire need (and still is) of healing in this area. It is a complete transformation of how do I please God rather than man and my selfish desires.

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!"

A heart that has been transformed in the area of presentation and conduct will say, "Jesus, how do I look today? Am I pleasing to you? Is this outfit and my actions discreet and excellent in Your eyes? 

It's a totally different heart attitude when a woman has surrendered control of her appearance and behavior to God. 

What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

I believe our greatest challenge as women is the constant message of perfection we receive from critical Christians. Instead of extending grace we hit with judgement that is harsh and cruel. Women turn from purity and virtue believing that God is this cruel judge wanting perfection from imperfect sinners. 

Secondly, the world's secular and deceptive message that a woman must look and behave a certain way to be accepted. I find this to be destructive and harmful to all women, but especially younger girls coming of age. If God's truth is not planted firmly in our hearts and minds, the lure of vanity and plastic beauty is extremely attractive.

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

No, I did not have a mentor early on in my christian walk. Unfortunately, many "Titus 2" women turn from a new believer who is dressing and behaving seductively instead of embracing and gently guiding the babe in Christ. Or, they are harsh and judgmental making one think twice about Christianity. 

Books became my mentors and I read everything on femininity and social graces.

It is only recently that I have had the privilege of being mentored by a 75 year old Christian woman. We meet weekly for accountability. 

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

I am well acquainted with the Samaritan woman who saw and tasted of the Living Water. Mary who was filled with demons and mad wild for the healing of One. Mocked and judged for her sensuality and insanity; Jesus made her whole. 

It has taken years for me to believe that beauty and modesty is something more right and holy than a seductive spirit set to accomplish its own wicked desires. 

Our hearts need to be checked constantly before the mirror of God's word, so we can say, "Am I pleasing you today, Lord? Did I speak that which was good? Are these pants a bit too tight for me? Is this blouse appropriate for my body? Is this dress depressing and dark for me? Was I kind to my husband today? Was I careful with my eyes and what I allowed my mind to take in?

We must understand that God's standards are high, but they do not overwhelm. They give life to the thirsty and broken.

Jasmine is a wife and homeschooling mom of 10 years. She is passionate about mothering and raising children who are compassionate, confident, and loving individuals. Jasmine's newest adventure includes homeschooling and training her youngest child who has Down syndrome.

She is the author and founder of Far Above Rubies, a website dedicated to promoting biblical womanhood and was recently featured in Nancy Campbell's Above Rubies Magazine issue #84, April 2012. Jasmine has had the privilege of writing for Raising Homemakers and numerous other websites who are dedicated to mentoring and teaching women to embrace their highcalling as wives, mothers, and homemakers.

You can connect with Jasmine on Facebook and Twitter.

Modest Mentor Series~Natalie

Welcome to Pure Modesty’s, Modest Mentors Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


Today's interview is with Natalie from Visionary Womanhood.

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

I believe modesty means NOT dressing, doing, and saying things that would draw attention to myself and glorify myself in the eyes of others, but rather, dressing, doing, and saying things that would draw attention to Jesus Christ, the King of the Universe, and bring glory to HIM.

I can be all “covered up”, and yet have an immodest attitude or say immodest things that cause others to “notice” ME.  I can be all covered up, but be wearing something flamboyant that draws attention to ME. 

Modesty is loving and serving Jesus and others rather than selfishly serving SELF. 

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (If not describe briefly what changed.)

I grew up in a new Christian home (my parents got saved when I was a little girl), and was blessed to have a mom and dad who taught me to put others first and to dress in such a way that would SHINE for Jesus Christ and bring Him honor. 

I was taught that we are ambassadors for the King, and as such, must dress and act nobly as His royal representatives.  We did not have set “rules” like “wear skirts only” or “don’t wear jewelry”.  But we were taught the principle of dressing modestly and nobly in our generation, so I’ve embraced a vision for that most of my life.  

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!"

My response would be, “It is true that Jesus sees your heart; however, it is NOT true that you can dress “how you want” UNLESS you WANT to dress to please Him!  Those who love Him, will seek to please Him.  He sees the motives of our hearts…whether they are noble and pure…or selfish.  If they are noble and pure, they will act in perfect accordance with His Word and His will, which speaks in many places of the way we dress and carry ourselves. The Word of God is clear on two things: Dress like a woman.  Dress in such a way that you will avoid stumbling your brother in Christ.  This is love.

In addition, the Word of God says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)  So tread carefully whenever you speak of your heart.  Jesus DOES know your heart.  To boast that YOU do… is folly.

What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

Our greatest challenge is our own sinful, selfish hearts.  We cannot blame society, our parents, other Christians, our husbands, our churches, or anyone or anything outside of ourselves.  It all comes from inside our hearts.  Our flesh desires to be noticed and admired.  If dressing flamboyantly or in such a way as to reveal our curvy features brings us the admiration we crave, we will pursue that…UNLESS the Holy Spirit gives us grace to pursue God’s good pleasure rather than our own.

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

My mentor was my mother.  She passed on to me all the things that God was teaching her as a new believer.  God was HUGE in my mom’s life…and I grew up knowing that He was the center of the universe.  I’m so grateful for that perspective…what a blessing.  We moms have such a critical impact on our children for good or evil.  She always dressed in lovely clothing that did not draw attention to herself in any way.  She was (and is) a noble woman of God.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

Rather than focusing on “self”, keep focused on the beautiful Savior, Jesus Christ.  He was a meek, holy, powerful, noble, kind, loving, self-sacrificing, gentle, and obedient servant.  And He was (and is) God.  The King of the Universe.  We are not above our Master.  We must ardently pursue Him (by studying and obeying His Word and communicating with Him in prayer) as our greatest Treasure…and the more we follow, trust, and love Him, the more our lives will be affected in all facets…including how we dress.  

Do you seek to be beautiful?  Put on LOVE.  Love is always beautiful!

Natalie Klejwa is a child of the King, wife of 20 years to Joe, and mother to 9 miracles ages 0-18.

Natalie is the creator of Apple Valley Natural Soap, which gives her children an opportunity to earn money at home and expand their own entrepreneurial endeavors. Passionately believing in the sovereignty of God and the sufficiency of Scripture for all of life, she has rejected the Wemmick culture box and prefers the ancient paths found in the Word of God. Natalie taught high school English when she was single and has been discipling women for 25 years through full time campus ministry, personal mentoring, writing, and Bible studies. More recently, she is the founder of Visionary Womanhood Gatherings in the Twin Cities area, which began almost five years ago, and she is also the administrator of the Visionary Womanhood blog and author of Visionary Womanhood Gatherings, A Family Strengthening Mentorship Tool for Women and Maidens. You can hear her being interviewed on Kevin Swanson's Generations with Vision radio program.

Modest Mentor Series~Jordan

Welcome to Pure Modesty’s, Modest Mentor Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


Today's interview is with Jordan from Choosing Home.

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

Modesty, to me, means dressing and behaving in a way that glorifies God. Having regard for decency of behavior, speech and dress, with the intention to bring attention to my character, above all else.

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (If not describe briefly what changed.)

Since I was little, my parents taught me the importance of dressing with decency. I tried to glorify God on the subject of modesty, and I believe that I did.  But over this past year, God has revealed to me that I should not be comparing my modesty to others' modesty.  That I should seek His Word for defining what He requires of me.  As a result I have become more aware of my behavior.  I have also slowly removed items from my closet that I feel could bring attention to something other than my character.  And the Lord has blessed me with new items to replace them. 

How would you answer "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at the heart!"?

I believe that Jesus cares very much about our hearts.  But, my outward appearance should be a reflection of my inward commitment to Him. 

1 Samuel 16:7 says "... The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

This verse tells me that my heart is the most important, to the Lord.  But, if man looks at my outward appearance wouldn't I want that to be a reflection of my commitment to Jesus?  To me, modesty is as much about my heart as it is my wardrobe.  I pray that strangers would look at me and think that I must be a follower of Jesus, because of what they see on the inside and the outside.  

What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

I believe some women do not have a Godly role model, setting examples of how and why to be modest.  If purity {freedom from anything that contaminates} and virtue {moral excellence} had never been shown to me, it would be easy to live with no standards.  It can also be easy to place your self-worth in what others think of you, instead of what God says about you.

Did you have a mentor?  If not, who was your greatest womanly influence?

I guess I would consider my momma my mentor.  She has definitely been the greatest womanly influence in my life.  She taught me stories of the virtuous women of the Bible including Esther, Ruth and Sarah.  And she lives them out daily.  What a privilege to learn from her.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

Please do not think that my answers are how you should live.  The Lord is still pruning me into His beautiful creation!  I pray that my contribution has encouraged you to seek the Lord’s approval for your modesty.  Some verses to think on: Colossians 3:12; 1 Peter 3:3-6; 1 Timothy 4:12; 2 Timothy 2:9-10.

Jordan is a 21 year old Stay At Home Daughter, by choice, being trained in the things of the Lord by her wonderful parents. She is the 2nd oldest of 6 children and has the privilege of staying home to enjoy her family every day. She is striving to become who she feels the Lord wants her to be. Realizing that being a stay at home daughter may not be the Lord’s calling for everyone, she loves it! She is biracial and left-handed. She enjoys worship, modest dresses, scrapbooking & photography. She prays that she will be an encouragement to others.

Modest Mentors Series~Jenny

Welcome to Pure Modesty's Modest Mentors Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


Today's interview is with Jenny at A Mother's Heritage.

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

Modesty means to me not only my dress, but my deportment and attitude as well. I can be wearing a modest attire, but if my behavior is not prudent and wise, if I do not carry myself in honor, then I am not truly modest.

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (if not describe briefly what changed.)

I was introduced to dressing modestly early on in my life. As I grew that grew in different particulars. From my teen years I wore skirts or dresses only, having worn pants before that. But I was also taught that it was not just wearing a skirt that made me modest, but the heart of the matter. We have seen too many times where there is outward "modesty" but the behavior is far from pure.

The last few years after much prayer, thought and counsel our family decided to reintroduce pants into our family for me and my daughters, although we still wear skirts and dresses often. Even with this decision though, we are very conservative in our choices. I am teaching my daughters how to wear longer tunic-type blouses and attire that are modest as well as lovely.

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!" It is true that the Lord looks on the heart, but we are also known by our fruits. Others cannot see our hearts, and our outward attire reflects much to others.

What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

~We are in a time where we are losing even basic propriety as women. It is now socially appropriate for girls to initiate in relationships with boys.  Flirting and general casual behavior are common place.  In our society girls are so masculine in their behavior, and our young men no longer honor the ladies.  We need to be teaching our young girls to behave with dignity and propriety, in ways that do not tempt others, modesty of heart, dress and behavior.

~I read an article recently that really hit the nail on the head when it mentioned that instead of wanting to be pretty, now girls want to be "hot".  It is my opinion that this trashy look that girls now are wearing is not even "pretty" but is giving more of the appearance of a street woman.  Is it any wonder when they lose their purity at an early age?  Does their dress speak to others words of invitation or words of wholesomeness?  Do our daughters value their femininity as from the Lord? We need to teach them to remember the "A gracious woman retains her honor."  Proverbs 11:16

~We need the fathers to be more aware of their daughters' attire and give them feedback.  A young lady does not always know how a young man thinks and what might be a stumbling block to them.  I believe the Dads should be often having dialog with their daughters as to what is appropriate, no matter what age they are.  I regularly ask my husband for feedback on certain clothing, styles, etc.

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

I would have to say my mother has been my greatest influence.  She has been and still is a huge blessing from the Lord in my life.  God has also given me other friends over the years that have been such an encouragement to me.  But I will say that one of the best lessons the Lord taught me was to love being a woman and prize that gift.  It has required standing alone many times, but this will often be the case in the Christian life.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

~Keep at the forefront of your heart and mind these few questions:

Is my choice of clothing...

loving my brethren around me?

consistent with my profession as a follower of Jesus?

retain my honor as a woman?

does my husband or father feel it is modest?

and most of all...does my dress AND behavior bring glory to God?

Jenny is an ordinary mom with an extraordinary God. Following a beautiful courtship, she has been married to her best friend for over 16 years. Jenny homeschools her 7 children (ages 14-10 mo). This means everything from teaching basic phonics, to assisting her oldest through CollegePlus! When she is not teaching, playing with her children, or changing diapers, she loves to sing, write, blog and clean...yes, clean. As a recovering OCD perfectionist and "neat freak" she still has unmatched socks, messy closets and is allergic to mornings. Jenny is also the author of the ebook Embracing the Mess. Come and be refreshed, blessed and challenged in your high calling as a wife and mother over at A Mother's Heritage. You may also follow her on Facebook, or Twitter.