Modest Mentor Series~Melinda

Welcome to Pure Modesty’s, Modest Mentor Series!

In the spirit of Titus 2, I have asked women whom I greatly respect and admire to answer a few questions that relate to modesty. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers nor have I arrived at being a “Modest Mentor” myself, because dressing modestly is more than just skirts!

I hope the interviews in this series will be helpful wherever you are in your journey of becoming a virtuous woman!


I am happy to have Melinda from Musing's of a Minister's Wife  finish this wonderful series!

The term Modesty has a broad definition these days. What does Modesty mean to you?

Modesty is more than just covered knees and elbows.  True modesty should affect more than just our wardrobe.  Our modesty should be evident in our glance, in our walk, in our attitude, and in our speech—all of which stem from the heart.  As any farmer knows, it doesn’t matter what crop you are planting if the soil is not right.  It really is a matter of “from the ground up.”  You have to dig, you have to add, you have to take away, and you have to water before you can ever grow healthy fruit with a healthy root system that will endure through all phases of life.

Have you always dressed modestly? Why? (If not describe briefly what changed.)

I most definitely was NOT a modest dresser.  There was no such thing as too tight, too low-cut, or too short for me.  I looked good, and I knew it.  I envisioned myself as tastefully but scantily clad.  I was the girl that everybody stopped and stared at when she walked in the room.  It was more than just my nice clothes on my nicely aerobicized body—it was the attitude that permeated from me.  I was a girl that got what I wanted, and what I wanted was every man’s attention.  It sounds silly to say all of that now, but it needs to be said to validate the extent of my testimony.

When my husband and I joined a church, no one said anything to me about my style of dress.  Of course, I knew better than to go to church in a leather halter top, but changing clothes doesn’t change the heart.  God started to really convict me about my attitude and my touchy-feely, flirty ways and my wardrobe.  I blush just thinking about the person I once was.  Who was that girl that I used to be?  That’s right—she’s buried in the water in the precious name of Jesus!

How would you answer, "I can dress how I want because Jesus looks at my heart!"

Some of you may have read my Personal Guidelines for Modesty article, so this will sound familiar to you.  But it bears repeating : ) 

• Jesus loved me in my sin, but He doesn’t want me to keep living in it
• If my heart is right, it will show up on the outside at some point
• Guys are going to look, especially if I am putting my goodies on display
• Don’t act like you don’t judge people.  If I see a man dressed like a police officer, I’m going to assume that he’s a policeman.

 What do you think is the greatest challenge women face today when it comes to purity and virtue?

The greatest challenge that Christian women face today is that being impure and without virtue is so acceptable in the Christian community.  The pastor’s wife is the example to the women in the church.  If she can’t even get her act together and cover up her own boobs and show a work ethic, why would we expect the women in her congregation to do so?

The greatest challenge that non-Christian women face today is that there are so few Christian women with purity and virtue to set an example for them and to be available to them with a Christ-like attitude for counseling/questions/friendship.

Did you have a mentor? If not who was your greatest womanly influence?

The church that we are affiliated with upholds a modesty standard.  (Don’t hate—appreciate : )  How awesome it is to go to a church where all of the women are covered!  (Now that I’m under control, lol.)  So while I did not have one particular woman that really took me under her wings, I am just thankful for all of the women that have followed God’s conviction on their own heart to dress modestly AND FASHIONABLY!  I am not a modest, fashion guru, I’m afraid.  I look nice, but no one is chasing me down asking me where I got those killer pair of shoes.  And I’m okay with that : )  I’m not after anyone’s attention anymore.

Would you like to share any other wisdom with my readers?

Study God’s word, and ask Him to place the convictions on your heart that He wants for you.  It does not say anywhere in the Bible that you have to wear a skirt.  However, in our culture, skirts are associated with modesty and feminine behavior.  If you view your walk with God as “What all do I have to give up”, chances are you won’t stay the course. 

When I was a pants-wearing Christian, I NEVER had anyone walk up to me and ask me, “Where do you go to church?”  As a modestly dressed, skirt-wearing woman, I have people come up to me all of the time asking where I go to church.  If I can win people to God just because I honor the conviction to dress modestly, then glory, hallelujah!  Everything I do is for His glory, not mine.

Melinda Martin has lived a life full of mistakes and has only survived by God’s amazing grace.  She “retired” from the corporate world four years ago and has since been making more mistakes in the avenues of homeschooling and housewifing.  God has recently blessed her and set her peace-shod feet on a journey to becoming a minister’s wife.   However, the ministry she shares with her husband is a bit different—he is a prison chaplain at a maximum security prison in Texas.  To offset her serious posts, she supplements with fun things like recipes, sewing tutorials, music ministry, and how to siphon gas from your lawnmower.