Who's that girl?

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

My 20 year high school reunion is this year. (20 years!)  I'm still acquainted with some friends from high school through Facebook and recently there have been some pictures resurfacing on-line that I would rather not see. Ever!  The whole tagging people in pictures on Facebook annoyed me before but now...One of my dearest friends from school actually scanned this picture into her computer then shared it with the world! (seriously?)

Yes, I had a home perm...Nice, huh?

I actually considered deleting my Facebook account temporarily until the reunion was over just so more pictures like this did not show it's ugly face. (Pun intended.)

At first, I was super humiliated. Then I realized I was being prideful. I was afraid my "new" friends, the people I look up to and maybe even wanted to impress might see me. Then I realized this is not me. This brace-faced, pimpled, New Kids On the Block fan, teenage-girl is gone. You can see it in her eyes. She is lost and lonely and without hope. Looking at this picture, I no longer see me. I see "her." She is the old me. 

I'm perplexed at the space of time. How "time" can seem so far away but it seems like it just happened. Does that make any sense? I'm reflecting on the past 20 years of my life and I am able to put the years into blocks of time.

I was lost for 30 years of my life. 

I defiled my body for 15 years.

I was drunk for 7 years.

I was a single mom for 5 years.

Then I met Him!  A Saviour. A friend. A Father. My Redeemer! He took it all. Every dark corner, every tear and every regret. It's all gone. Washed with blood, polished by grace. I am new and time looks different.

I have been saved for 9 years.

I have been married for 7 years.

I have been of sober mind and body for 7 years.

I have 6 children.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. ~2 Corinthians 5:17

Don't do what I did. Don't get stuck in the past and re-live your shame and regrets. They are gone and you are whole. You are complete with Jesus. Made perfect in Him alone!

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.~Ephesians 4:22-24

Focus

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Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always~ 1 Chronicles 16:11

This morning I had 22 emails in my in-box. That was just for Pure Modesty. I have two other email accounts for our family that I am trying to merge into one. Those two combined had 14.

How'd that happen?

I can vividly remember about three years ago when I decided to write a blog. Writing seemed innocent. The blog was about my family and the little milestones that would occur. Thoughts and ramblings in my head that  surfaced and I felt compelled to release them to the world...

I had followers.

I was "liked"

I became part of a team!

It was fun!

Then it morphed into ugly. My worth was in numbers and comments. The pat's on the back came through a computer. Something was not right and even though I understood, I fought against it. I want to feel wanted and popular.

Some days, I think to myself, "Where did all these people come from?" "Why would they "like" my blog? I really don't write that often so what's the deal?" I have a purpose for this blog, but I'm trying too hard to please man (in this case mostly women). 


Here I am again, feeling the same way. Things are blurry and I feel a bit dizzy. I'm loosing my focus. I struggle daily with remaining steady and disciplined. The "web" is just that for me. I get trapped. Caught inside, tangled and overwhelmed by the scale of it.

It's time to downsize and get back to my family and  my purpose.  Facebook may be quiet and emails may be sparse as I gaze upon the Father and soak in His will for this space. 

To focus our minds on the human nature leads to death, but to focus our minds on the Spirit leads to life and peace. ~Romans 8:6

Are you here too? Have you lost your focus? Here are some wonderful posts spoken from the heart that helped convict my own. Muthering Heights, Treasures From a Shoebox & Sarah Markley

... I was a stranger...

...and you welcomed me.~Matthew 25:35

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I have been reading through "Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition" these past few weeks as a part of my book schedule.

I highly suggest you read it as well.

This book is life-giving to the home but not for the hostess but rather for the guest and will stir your soul into action. 

When we think of hospitality, we often think of simply entertaining our friends and family in our homes. Have you considered opening your home to strangers? Someone you have never met until that moment?

Jesus said, "When you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed because they cannot repay you."~ Luke 14:13-14

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Here are a few quotes...

"In Romans 15:7, Paul urges believers to "welcome one another" as Christ has welcomed them...In the church, the household of God, hospitality is a fitting, requisite, and meaning filled practice...Though part of everyday life hospitality is never far removed from it's divine connections."

"Hospitality is central to the meaning of the gospel...A fuller awareness of the riches of hospitality tradition and the extraordinary experiences associated with hospitality enriches Christian faith and brings Christian practice into closer alignment with the basic values of the Kingdom. Hospitality is a lens through which we can read and understand much of the gospel, and practice by which we can welcome Jesus himself."

"In hospitality, the stranger is welcomed into a safe, personal and comfortable place, a place of respect and acceptance and friendship. Even if only briefly, the stranger is included in a life-giving and life-sustaining network of relations."

"Hospitality is not optional for Christians, nor is it limited to those who are specially gifted for it. It is, instead a necessary practice in the community of faith."

Matthew 5:39-44

Matthew 25:31-46

Luke 6:27-31 

Luke 10:29-37

Luke 14:13-14

Do Our Children Have Our Hearts?~Guest Post

I am blessed to be a stay-at-home-mama.

No one would ever accuse me of neglecting my children.

I am at home with them all the time, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Yet, I have collapsed into bed at the end of many a busy day with a guilt complex.

I didn't even stop and take the time to play with my kids today.

How long HAS it been since I had a tea party with my girls?? Or made homemade playdough? Or spent the afternoon playing outside with my little people?

Our children are generally sweet and pleasant (barring the usual "human" moments).

On fussy days, I've realized (after the lights are out) that maybe my sons' whining or my girls' sour attitudes had something to do with needing some more mommy time.

Don't get me wrong; my children are in the middle of most everything I do. From cooking meals to cleaning house and pulling weeds in the flower bed. They are always right beside me.

But there is just something extra special about Mama taking time to get down on the floor and color. Or play dolls. Or set up the Little People farm.  Or look my child in the eyes and smile with enthusiasm while he or she relates a story.

Debi Pearl says it this way, in her book Created to Be His Help Meet:

"Some mothers treat their children as I treat my cows. I make sure they have good things to eat, clean water, and a place to exercise. If they show any signs of sickness, I attend to them immediately... Unlike your care of the cows, the training of your children is the deepest expression of your love for them. To love children is to devote ourselves fully to their training... There are no neutral moments in a child's life. Every moment is a time of continuous need and development."

As Debi Pearl so candidaly put it, being “at home” with our children is not the same as giving our hearts to our family. Our children need more than healthy meals, clean clothes, and exercise.

They need us.

Our attention.  Our smiles.  Our laughter. Our empathy.  Our creativity. Our hearts.

 Do our children know that their mama is interested in their play, their needs, their fears?

 Do our husband know that our hearts are in our home?

That we are not pining away and withering inside by perceived "unmet needs"?

 Now, I am not talking about raising children who think their mama owes them every waking moment. A child-centered home is a recipe for disaster.

 A Christ-centered home, in which a mother devotes herself unselfishly to nurturing and training her children, creates a secure haven for growth and training.

 I want to  leave you with a challenge from Loving the Little Years, by Rachel Jankovic:

"It is no abstract thing- the state of your heart is the state of your home.  You cannot harbor resentment secretly toward your children and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender.  You cannot be greedy with your time and expect them to share their toys... God has given us the job of teaching His law and demonstrating His grace.  We are to be guides to our children as they learn to walk with God."

 Ladies, I encourage you to ask yourself: Where is my heart?

 If your honest answer is that you are in need of a new focus, set some time aside this week (beginning today!) to seek God's heart for your family. Nothing in this world compares to time spent in God's presence for renewing and rekindling a mother's heart.

Kristy Howard is a believer in Jesus Christ, a pastor's wife, and homeschooling mother of four.  She is passionate about living simply, naturally, and Bibically for the glory of God. Kristy is the owner of LittleNaturalCottage, where she furiously writes about her loves during nap time. She and her husband, Jeremy, make their home in North Texas, where they enjoy their growing family, their church, and their pursuit of a debt free life.

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Fruit of the Spirit Series~Meekness

Today, eight ladies and I are writing a series based on the Fruits of the Spirit taken from Galatians 5:22-23. We pray that the topics  discussed will inspire and encourage you to draw closer to God as you endeavor to walk in the Spirit.

This is my small part of the conversation, Meekness.

In closing, you will find a list of lovely ladies and their individual "Fruit of the Spirit" topic.  I hope you are blessed by spending your time with us!

My husband and I were recently shopping at Wally-World for a new Crock-Pot. While we looked through the appliance isle, something struck him as odd, yet familiar. Most home appliances are made for an individual. Items were advertised as "Personal," "Convenient" and "Single." Even home appliances have become selfish aimed at serving one person!

Meekness is a Fruit of the Spirit that seems lost in a culture of self. Self-indulgence, selfishness, self-esteem...me, me, me.

Today, many people associate meekness with weakness. If one is meek she may be considered quiet and gentle. Admirable virtues for a Christian to behold, yet considered feeble through a worldly lens. Society tells us that in order to "get ahead" we should be aggressive or vociferous with our words and actions.

Consider this counter-cultural verse; "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."~Matthew 5:5. Today we are told, "Blessed be the one's who climb the corporate ladder, wears the finest clothes or has the biggest bank account despite who they trample on in order to get it."

Contrary to what the world says, Scripture states, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere."~James 3:17

Meekness is a quality trait we need to have rooted deep in our hearts! We are asked to put on meekness as we would our clothing. "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."~1Peter 3:4

 Possessing a spirit of meekness is the very opposite of weakness. Meekness can not be separated from the other fruits because they are attributed to strength. Unbreakable links in a chain!

 There has never been nor ever will be a greater example of meekness than that of our Lord Jesus Christ. He illustrated each of the the character qualities in the Fruit of the Spirit through His life, death and resurrection. We should be diligent in our efforts to reflect His image and follow His example of meekness.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."~Matthew 11:29

Please join the following ladies as they share their heart with you!

Esther - Faith

Angela - Love

Jill - Goodness

Christin - Temperance

Richelle - Longsuffering

Jenny - Joy

Jacinda - Gentleness

Heather - Peace

A Modesty Heart Check

Here is a valuable, and free, resource a friend gave me from Sovereign Grace Ministries. I recommend you download this file yourself and tape it on your mirror to use as a guideline while getting dressed.

   I'm linking up with A Wise Woman Builds Here Home today! Will you join us?

―How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Isis to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance — John MacArthur [emphasis added]

Keep in mind

Why do we make such a big deal about modesty? Please know that this isn’t about us imposing some kind of clothing standard. Modesty is important because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is an outward expression of a heart desire not to distract from or reflect poorly on the gospel. We have a gospel mission: not only to preach Christ, but to live in a way consistent with our profession of faith. May our modest dress be a witness to the One who gave Himself as a ransom for all. It is very important to us that you read the questions in the context of biblical truth. Otherwise, we all are prone to the temptation to turn a tool like this into a list of rules or to sinfully judge others who don’t agree or to excuse ourselves on a technicality. We want you to consider these questions in light of the beauty of God’s standard of modesty.

Heart Questions to Ask

What statement do my clothes make about my heart? In choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave? Am I seeking to please God or impress others? Is what I wear consistent with biblical values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values? Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is the Word of God my standard or is the latest fashion? Have I asked other godly individuals to evaluate my wardrobe? Does my clothing reveal an allegiance to the gospel or is there any contradiction between my profession of faith and my practice of godliness?

Before you leave the house, do a modesty check. (What are some things you should look for as you stand in front of your mirror?)

From the top…

When I am wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop-neck, can I see anything when I lean over? If so, I need to remember to place my hand against my neckline when I bend down. If I am wearing a button-down top, I need to turn sideways and move around to see if there are any gaping holes that expose my chest. If there are, I’ve got to grab the sewing box and pin between the buttons. The same check is needed if I am wearing a sleeveless shirt. When I move around, can I see my bra? If I do, I need the pins again. Am I wearing a spaghetti-strap, halter, or sheer blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem! Most guys find these a hindrance in their struggle with lust. It’s time to go back to the closet. Can I see the lace or seam of my bra through my shirt? In this case, seamless bras are a better option.

More key questions: Does my shirt reveal any part of my cleavage? Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head? Is my shirt just plain too tight? If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, then I need to change my outfit.

Moving on down…

Does my midriff (or underwear) show when I bend over or lift my hands? If so, is it because my skirt or my pants are too low? Either my shirt needs to be longer I need to find a skirt or pants that sit higher. I also have to turn around to see if what I’m wearing is too tight around my back side, or if the outline of my underwear shows. If so, I know what I have to do!

And as for shorts—I can’t just check them standing up. I need to see how much they reveal when I sit down. If I see too much leg, I need a longer pair.

The ―sit- down: check applies to my skirt or dress as well. And I must remember to keep my skirt pulled down and my knees together when I’m seated. And speaking of skirts, watch out for those slits! Does it reveal too much when I walk? Pins are also helpful here.

Before I leave, I need to give my skirt a sunlight check. Is it see through? If so, I need a slip.

Finally, I must remember to do this modesty check with my shoes on. High-heels make my dress or skirt appear shorter.

And don’t forget –this applies to formal wear as well.

A note on swimwear: It’s not easy but you can still strive to be modest at the pool or beach. Look for one-piece bathing suits that aren’t cut high on the leg and don’t have low necklines.