March 23, 2012

Who's that girl?

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

My 20 year high school reunion is this year. (20 years!)  I'm still acquainted with some friends from high school through Facebook and recently there have been some pictures resurfacing on-line that I would rather not see. Ever!  The whole tagging people in pictures on Facebook annoyed me before but now...One of my dearest friends from school actually scanned this picture into her computer then shared it with the world! (seriously?)

Yes, I had a home perm...Nice, huh?

I actually considered deleting my Facebook account temporarily until the reunion was over just so more pictures like this did not show it's ugly face. (Pun intended.)

At first, I was super humiliated. Then I realized I was being prideful. I was afraid my "new" friends, the people I look up to and maybe even wanted to impress might see me. Then I realized this is not me. This brace-faced, pimpled, New Kids On the Block fan, teenage-girl is gone. You can see it in her eyes. She is lost and lonely and without hope. Looking at this picture, I no longer see me. I see "her." She is the old me. 

I'm perplexed at the space of time. How "time" can seem so far away but it seems like it just happened. Does that make any sense? I'm reflecting on the past 20 years of my life and I am able to put the years into blocks of time.

I was lost for 30 years of my life. 
I defiled my body for 15 years.
I was drunk for 7 years.
I was a single mom for 5 years.

Then I met Him!  A Saviour. A friend. A Father. My Redeemer! He took it all. Every dark corner, every tear and every regret. It's all gone. Washed with blood, polished by grace. I am new and time looks different.

I have been saved for 9 years.
I have been married for 7 years.
I have been of sober mind and body for 7 years.
I have 6 children.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. ~2 Corinthians 5:17

Don't do what I did. Don't get stuck in the past and re-live your shame and regrets. They are gone and you are whole. You are complete with Jesus. Made perfect in Him alone!

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.~Ephesians 4:22-24

11 Modest Musings:

Anna @ Feminine Adventures said...

What a BEAUTIFUL testimony!

Martina said...

I am so glad you shared this testimony, i still struggle, that people will find out the past about me, i have to keep reminding myself everyday, that if they doubt that i changed they also doubt the cleaning and healing power of Jesus's Blood.

ShannonC said...

I can relate to your past life. I wasn't a single mom, but I can relate to the rest! I am so thankful for God's grace and work in me. What worries me a bit is that all of the strong Christian women that I respect, have the same testimony! I don't want that to be my daughter's testimony. I don't want my daughter to go through all that to get to God. How do we help our daughters have a pure testimony? I know, I need to pray and trust the Lord to do that work, but knowing what I went through, I just want to protect her. My parents prayed for me my whole life and I was raised in church.What more can I do?

Outfit 31 said...

So thankful, as you are, for my new life in Christ! It's better than any, "could have been." Praise God for grace and redemption!

Raising Mighty Arrows said...

Stephanie, what a BEAUTIFUL testimony. Never be ashamed of who you are in Christ. He has done such a marvelous work in your life and I'm very proud to call Him my Saviour as well! Thank you for sharing. :)

Sharon K said...

Excellent thoughts; thank you for sharing.
My life testimony is nothing like yours but I minister everyday to girls who have a similar past. We serve an amazing God who can take a pile of ashes and make them beautiful and useful for His glory.
I am glad to be able to call you 'sister'.

Chandra MoMoMod said...

Amen! I am so thankful to be a NEW creature in HIM! I, too, despise that awful Facebook picture tagging thing and CANNOT understand WHY people SCAN OLD photos from high school. UGH!

At any rate, I've decided to get over myself. Like you, I've realized that the high school me wasn't really "me". I grown into a better person and Christian and what's in the past cannot be changed.

Thanks for this!


Little Natural Cottage said...

This is beautiful, my dear... sincere, transparent, and just beautiful.

Thank you for sharing your heart, my friend.

Ashley@ Stay-At-Home Daughter said...

What a beautiful thing the Lord has done in your life! Thank you for sharing this for His glory!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful.......perm. Ok, ok, the testimony is beautiful too ;)

God bless you friend!

Mrs. B said...

So beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing your heart....and bringing glory to Christ!